Woah, some pretty big things happened this month so far. To begin with, I've looked my fourteen-years-absent father up on Facebook. I haven't found him yet, but I'm determined to get at least somewhere. It's not so much that I'm desperate to have a daddy in the picture, but more that I want answers as to why he hasn't been here all my life. And, apparently, I have three half-sisters. I'd like to get to know them, but I probably won't as I don't want to cause trouble for the new missus, whoever she is.
While I haven't found my father yet, I have managed to find my heart-warmingly gay "uncle" - my mum's friend who named me and then lost touch when we left London. I love him already - we talk about all things gay together - and he's agreed that if he can help me find my father, he will, and not tell my mother besides. See, because I've spent every year of my life since I could talk claiming I hate my dad for running off, she'd tease me rotten about wanting to find him now.

Even more bizarre; yesterday we found a privet hawk moth caterpillar in our garden. It is absolutely enormous - green, with sort of purple and white down its sides in stripes, and the largest sting in its tail I've ever seen: it's like a scorpion. It's ugly as sin, but the hawk moth when it becomes a hawk moth is supposed to be really beautiful so we're keeping it in a butterfly breeding cage and setting it free when it's finished cocooning or whatever it does, so we can see it and keep it safe. My mother - showing her rather unfortunate take on originality - has decided to call the poor thing "Harold". Harold the caterpillar. How embarrassing for the poor bastard.

My poor best friend rang me up last night in a sulk because - yet again - she's being left on her own while her parents go off with her brother to a cricket match. It wouldn't be a problem...but they're going for a whole week! She's sleeping at her aunt's (they live next door) but during the daytime they're out for the most part and she's meant to cook her own dinner. It really gets me sometimes how parents treat their children. It seems to me like HER parents forget they have a daughter. The father and the brother are chauvinist pigs and the brother thinks girls should be chained to the kitchen sink, but the mother's dead nice so I thought she'd stand up for the only other girl in the family.
Her brother doesn't like me.
When I went round there for the first time, he kept telling me that if I speak out of turn he'll hit me. So I whacked him first and told him that if he ever spoke to me like that again I'd hit him harder. Thing is his sister won't stand up to him - it's "Get me a drink" or "Go upstairs and get my schoolbag...NOW!" or "You're an arsehole and I hate you...now let me watch your DVD."
I hate that kid. He's a psycho. Once his mother caught him sticking knives under the bathroom door when my best mate had locked herself in there because he went nuts on her. What a weirdo, eh?

Finally, just because I need to rant, why does my mother have to work six days a week? It's school holidays right now, so I'm spending every - single - day stuck in the bloody house with nowhere to bloody go cos we live in a stupid little town in the middle of friggin' nowhere. None of my friends even live IN town, they're all in the outlying villages so I can't see 'em. So as a result I'm sitting on the computer - all day - bored out of my skull and eating so I'm going to be huge by the end of the holidays. I mean, even on the one day she doesn't work, she's too tired to do anything.
Before any reader who's thinking "Go out and get a job yourself to help your mother you lazy cow" which I'm sure at least some of you must be there's nothing going here. I've put my name down in all the shops that take someone my age, I've got a dogwalking business but no one wants their dogs walked, I've asked for odd jobs but no one has money and I won't do them for free. So I can't get a job myself, which pisses me off, because when I catch my mother wailing at three in the morning it's like "why do I have to be a kid?"
I feel real bad that I can't help her.

Still, I am feeling positive and happy today, thanks to plentiful gay-talk
Ciao for now